It’s frequently difficult to please the people around us,
especially when those people are the ones that we love dearly.
Although Life is more than just pleasing others,
I've always found it difficult not to try to make other people happy,
even when it results in feeling like life has been drained from me.

For many years of my life,
I felt like I was never a good enough person,
never a good enough daughter,
never a good enough mother.

This is a problem shared by many people.
We often feel driven by the need for approval from those we love.
It is easy to allow the expectations of parents or spouses or children
or teachers or friends to control our lives.
Many adults are still trying to earn the approval
of unpleasable parents...
…or even unpleasable adult children.

There are many keys to success, but one key to failure
is to try to always please someone else.
It is impossible to do everything people want us to do.
If we don't know our own purpose,
we will always try to do too much,
and that causes stress, fatigue, and conflict.

In order to develop the inner resources
that are required for us to give to others,
we have to survive,
and to figure out how to make ourselves thrive.

It is important to always keep in mind that our goal in life
can't be to simply please others.
It is not a bad thing to do good things for the ones we love,
but our primary goal must be to figure out a way
to take care of ourselves.

Like in an airline emergency,
we have to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first,
in order to be able to help another person with theirs.

Here are some things that I've learned.

It’s okay to have my own thoughts and opinions. 
I don’t have to agree with the views of everyone else. 
This doesn’t mean I have to be in conflict with others over differing ideas. 
There’s a lot of value in the ability to “agree to disagree”, and
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
 
My feelings are important. 
It isn’t necessary to always downplay my feelings in deference to others. 
This doesn't mean that I ignore the feelings of others. 
It means that I have a right to my feelings, too. 
We often think of feelings as “good” or “bad”
when they just are what they are. 
 
There’s nothing wrong with allowing our own needs to be a priority. 
Sometimes we can think that we are weak to even have needs,
but that isn’t true. 
Having needs merely means that we’re human. 

Just because we recognize our needs
and try to find ways to meet them doesn’t  mean that we’re selfish. 
Some people are selfish with their needs,
but if a person has a strong tendency to please others,
that isn’t likely the case. 
 
It’s impossible to please everyone. 
I do my best to accept that and allow myself to be me. 
I am n...

So far this year, I've spent more time thinking
about what changes I might want to make in my dieting,
than in actually doing anything differently

Sometimes introspection can be a good thing.

Our lives are generated through thoughts.
Our thoughts create our lives
and therefore our thinking can change our lives.

Looking inside and considering one's own mental state
and consciousness, is being introspective.
Introspection is how people learn about themselves
by examining their own behaviors and opinions.

The brain is the most effective tool in any weight loss plan.
We need to get the correct information,
and empowerment to make the correct choices in our diets,
in order to lose weight or to maintain weight-loss.

It takes patience and time to make changes.
Thinking about things can be helpful,
but eventually, we will need to actually choose to do something
and to follow through with that behavior choice.

 
This is a picture of one serving of food from my new cooking video,
Oatmeal Banana Muffin
which is located at DietHobby, under RECIPES,  Mini-Meals.

                               

"Perfection is a state of completeness and flawlessness."
While working toward perfection is acceptable,
expecting perfection is counterproductive, and unacceptable.

It is important to understand that perfection is not possible
in the areas of food and eating ...
unless perhaps, one is a devout monk living in total isolation.

Below is an excellent article on Perfection
written by Al Coon.

"Nothing done by humans is ever perfect. Nothing that you do, or that I do is perfect. There is always room for improvement. The belief that perfection is attainable creates a great deal of grief in people's lives. That grief comes in two common forms: 1) the internal perfectionist -- expecting perfection in oneself, and 2) the ever popular external perfectionist -- expecting perfection in others. Both forms of perfectionist can actually destroy lives, leaving wakes of destruction in their paths.

Being an internal perfectionist leads to a viscous circle of self-incrimination, depression and renewed determination to reach the impossible. Each failure leads to more shame and self-loathing. This is not from wishing to be evil or decadent, but from wanting to be perfect.

By striving for perfection, and foolishly expecting to reach it, such a person is doomed to fail before he even begins. It is like trying to sail a boat through a reef with no opening, it is impossible!

Since the internal perfectionist believes that perfection is possible, he only has one possible target for assigning guilt for the failure that was unavoidable. To him it is obvious, that he was not determined enough. He didn't try hard enough. He was no good. After a few cycles of doing this, the seeker of perfection will often find that he evaluates his own importance in the world, his own value, just below the scum that coats the bottom of a stagnant pool.

It is an outrage! Here is a unique and precious human being, who is striving, not to destroy others, or to do evil in the world, but to reach for the stars in search of the highest ideals. And all he gets for his trouble is the lash from a whip he holds with his own mental hands.

How much better off would he be if instead of believing in perfection, he would believe in improvement! Improvement is always possible, for anyone. Since perfection is impossible, that means that we all are imperfect, and therefore we all have room for improvement. Fortunately, the human mind is extremely flexible, and it can be programmed with better habits, which will produce improvement.

Since improvement is always possible, what makes sense for each of us, is to select some area that we would like to improve and then set to work to move in a positive direction for that area. The time to celebrate is when we actually see some improvement.

We should not wait until we reach perfection, or even until we reach a realistic goal before we celebrate. It is the movement in a positive direction that is of value. As long as we are moving, we are improving, and that means we are continually becoming better off than we were. That is worth celebrating!

Compare the difference in the state of mind between the internal...

It is important to be able to take care of oneself,
but there is a big difference between standing up for yourself
and expressing negative emotions.

Confrontation often isn't necessary.  
Simply examine your thoughts, and practice being present in the moment.

Quiet the anger or sadness with deep breathing.  
Step back from the situation that is troubling you.  
Realize that emotional eating will only add to your problems later on.  

Write out your thoughts and feelings in explosive detail
… but this is for your personal expression…
don't share what you've written with others.

It is critical to learn positive ways to deal with pain, sadness,
depression, and even the spaces that mean comfort or joy.  

We need to feel our emotions instead of suppress them.  
Take each new day and work from the inside,
and focus on the good that is inside each of us.

Meditation and prayer can both be very useful
for calming oneself down, and finding one's center.  

Use positive words about weight-loss and maintenance.
A positive vocabulary will help us make better food choices,
and in time, will help us achieve our goals.

Go for a walk or engage in another positive activity,
like listening to the Words of Wisdom Playlist
located in the RESOURCES section here at DietHobby.

Feelings come and go…both good and bad.
They will always be a part of us.
Purposely place your focus on Positive Thoughts,
and you will feel good a great deal more of the time.