I simply could not resist posting this.

I'm pleased to report that this morning I received my
coveted heart-shaped box of chocolates. 
Now my goal is to avoid tasting any of them for as long as possible.
I've always had a fantasy of getting such a gift, and stretching out the consumption of it, to the point that many chocolates actually turn white from age.   It's never happened, but it COULD happen.  . . . . . . . . . . . . Maybe . . . . . . . . . .

I am fortunate to have a long relationship with a wonderful husband. I love him dearly, but I must admit I also have another long-time love, A love that is far less kind to me, a love that sometimes tends to become obsessively out of control.  Daily contact between us is unavoidable, and I must admit that it is often in my thoughts.

Or, ... maybe not. 

It's always a choice.

There is a continuous conversation going on in everyone's head. This conversation goes on from the moment of waking until falling asleep.

The inner dialogue continues while working, studying, reading, watching TV, talking, walking, eating, etc. There is a constant judging of people, commenting on what is going on, planning, gossiping, and mental conversations with people.

These inner dialogues bring about a snowball effect. The more we conduct them, the more we become chained to them and unable to stop them. When the emotions are also evoked, more power, energy and attachment are added. This affects our behavior, judgment and performance.

When our inner dialogue is negative, it strengthens any negative attitude and behavior. Negative inner dialogues are very common for just about everyone.

The process and effect of these inner conversations is similar to the way affirmations work. Constant thinking about the same subject affects the subconscious mind, which consequently, accepts these thoughts and words and acts on them.

Negative inner dialogues bring negative results, and Positive inner dialogues bring positive results.

It is not so easy to mentally separate oneself from the thoughts and words the flow through the mind.  However, over and over again, we can work to keep our attention on what is going inside our heads, and eventually we will be able to become aware of the inner dialogue for longer periods of times. Watching the mind and what is going on inside it helps us develop detachment, and this makes it easier to take control of the mind and its chatter.

Whenever we catch ourselves conducting a useless, futile conversation with ourselves, stop it.   Change it to something more useful and meaningful. Replace the subject, and the words. It is just like listening to a recording. So replace it with another recording that we like. We can change the words of the inner dialogue to positive ones, about good health, happiness and success. 

The video below is an amusing Example of Inner Dialogue.

 
Something that I keep in mind while I exercise my Dieting Hobby is the process of aging.

I’d like to live the rest of my life as a small woman, and die at a normal weight.

Although I’m currently in good health, this will end one day … no matter what food or exercise plan I choose, or how well I follow a “Healthy” lifestyle plan.

I am older at this moment than I’ve ever been before, and it’s the youngest I’m ever going to get. The mortality rate is 100 percent.  Eveyone dies.

Large and moneyed industries thrive on sustaining the ILLUSION that with enough money and information we can control how we age and die.

But an Illusion is something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality, and although we would like this fantasy to be true, it is not.

Here is an excellent and thoughtful article on this Reality.

You Are Going to Die
                      by Tim Kreider -The New York Times 1/20/2013

My sister and I recently toured the retirement community where my mother has announced she’ll be moving. I have been in some bleak clinical facilities for the elderly where not one person was compos mentis and I had to politely suppress the urge to flee, but this was nothing like that. It was a very cushy modern complex housed in what used to be a seminary, with individual condominiums with big kitchens and sun rooms, equipped with fancy restaurants, grills and snack bars, a fitness center, a concert hall, a library, an art room, a couple of beauty salons, a bank and an ornate chapel of Italian marble. You could walk from any building in the complex to another without ever going outside, through underground corridors and glass-enclosed walkways through the woods. Mom described it as “like a college dorm, except the boys aren’t as good-looking.” Nonetheless I spent much of my day trying not to cry.

You are older at this moment than you’ve ever been before, and it’s the youngest you’re ever going to get.

At all times of major life crisis, friends and family will crowd around and press upon you the false emotions appropriate to the occasion. “That’s so great!” everyone said of my mother’s decision to move to an assisted-living facility. “It’s really impressive that she decided to do that herself.” They cited their own stories of 90-year-old parents grimly clinging to drafty dilapidated houses, refusing to move until forced out by strokes or broken hips. “You should be really relieved and grateful.” “She’ll be much happier there.” The overbearing unanimity of this chorus suggests to me that its real purpose is less to reassure than to suppress, to deny the most obvious and natural emotion that attends this occasion, which is sadness.

My sadness is purely selfish, I know. My friends are right; this was all Mom’s idea, she’s looking forward to it, and she really will be happier there. But it also means losing the farm my father bought in 1976, where my sister and I grew up, where Dad died in 1991. We’re losing our old phone number, the one...

 
Before my Weight Loss Surgery 20 years ago, I spent about 20 years in Therapy trying to resolve any emotional issues that might be causing my problems with food and weight. I gained lots of information about overeating behaviors, and insight into my own personal life. Therapy helped me learn to like and accept myself even though I was morbidly obese, but it didn’t take away my desire to be a normal weight. It also didn’t result in my becoming any thinner.

In my opinion, too much emphasis on the emotional aspects of overeating simply adds another narrative to “pathologizing” people with excess weight.

Most obese people are not gluttonous sloths without will power, nor are they emotionally-wounded wrecks. You can chose which of these you think is worse.

After a mentally-healthy-person becomes obese in this anti-fat biased culture, sometimes this will adversely affect all dimensions of their physical, emotional and functional health, which brings them close to a pathological state.

However, there are countless people with excess weight, who eat as much - or as little - as skinny folks. Throughout history, overweight and obese individuals have expressed incredible feats of determination and will power, and psychiatric wards are full of skinny people with mental illness.

If there even really IS an obesity epidemic…yes, I’ve read some excellent material disputing that fact … It is probably the natural response to living in an unnatural environment - or perhaps even the natural response to merely living with plenty of food at ready access.

For most people with excess weight, there is probably no real underlying “pathological” driver apart from being human. After all, what do most naturally thin people do to stay thin? The correct answer is often, “not much” … especially when compared to the lifetime efforts put forth by most of the people who have a natural tendency toward fatness.